3 Months

I must say its been the happiest time of my life since I bought my first DSLR. But sadly, as I wanted to let it go it was for a better cause as I'm upgrading to a better gear. Wish me luck with the new one. I'll upload it as soon as possible once I purchase it. Here's the picture of my items sold.

Just came back from a 2 day course here in KK. I'm so tired till when I got home I fell flat on my bed. I had a great time during the 2 days course. Alot of things open up especially the marketing side and how to groom yourself to be a profesional presenter. But as usual for me this few months everything I do seems be a wrong or getting the nerve to my surroundings. Everytime when I'm smilling or having fun there's always something that would take it out of my face. I hate it so much that I'd trade ANYTHING just to have a good day! Why can't they just leave me alone!

So as i was saying, it was around 7.00pm when I slept but woke up around 11.00pm or so because I was hungry. Try to get back to sleep but I can't until now. Too many things on my mind. Maybe it's just me but I'm getting tired of my life. And sometime I just feel I'm better off being alone. I don't know why I have this feeling? Maybe it's gods test or is there something good waiting for me in front. All I can say is that i'm tired and sick of this thing! I can't take it anymore! I prey for something or someone to lead me to the light before darkness really covers my life. Try to let it out but being me I rather keep it to myself. Not being selfish or anything but I don't want people to be worrying about my problems since they have their own to settle.

Probably why this song is something to enjoy at this point in time.

I Don't Wanna Talk About It

I can tell by your eyes
That you've probably been crying forever
And the stars in the sky
Don't mean nothing to you they're a mirror
I don't wanna talk about it
How you broke my heart
If I stay here just a little bit longer
If I stay here won't you listen to my heart
ohh my heart

If I stand all alone
Will the shadows hide the color of my heart
blue
for the tears
Black
for the nights

Fears the stars on the sky don't mean nothing to you
They're a mirror
I don't wanna (blue) talk about it (black)
How you broke my heart
(blue, black, blue, black)
If I stay, if I stay here
Won't you listen to my heart

I can tell by your eyes
That you've probably been crying forever
And the stars in the sky
Don't mean nothing to you they're a mirror
I don't wanna talk about it
How you broke my heart
If I stay here just a little bit longer
If I stay here won't you listen to my heart
ohh my heart

From This Momment

Happy birthday Mama, today marks the day you've been born 25 years ago. Me, Puteri & soon to come baby boy wishes you Happy Birthday 2009. May you lead life with laughter and happiness, blessed and loved. Know that I'll always cherish you and be there for you no matter what happens. For better or worse you'll always be the one.

Hope you enjoy this song as much as I do. I've been waiting for this day to give it to you. And when you open this blog tomorrow do read the lyrics and listen to the song. It means a lot of things but in short I just want to say "I Love You". We have encounter a lot of difficulties to stand where we are today. So don't be sad or cry as there's always light of happiness where ever you'll go.

From This Moment On

(I do swear that I'll always be there. I'd give anything
and everything and I will always care. Through weakness
and strength, happiness and sorrow, for better, for worse,
I will love you with every beat of my heart.)

From this moment life has begun
From this moment you are the one
Right beside you is where I belong
From this moment on

From this moment I have been blessed
I live only for your happiness
And for your love I'd give my last breath
From this moment on

I give my hand to you with all my heart
Can't wait to live my life with you, can't wait to start
You and I will never be apart
My dreams came true because of you

From this moment as long as I live
I will love you, I promise you this
There is nothing I wouldn't give
From this moment on

You're the reason I believe in love
And you're the answer to my prayers from up above
All we need is just the two of us
My dreams came true because of you

From this moment as long as I live
I will love you, I promise you this
There is nothing I wouldn't give
From this moment
I will love you as long as I live
From this moment on

If I Could...

Sometime I just wish that life would be as easy as it seems to be to the naked eye. Unfortunately that will only exist in fairy tales. We open our eyes and hope for the very best that life could offer. And yet there will always be challenges up front be it an easy one or it could be hard. We still have to move on. Because that is what life is..moving on.

I've learn that is it not easy for me this past two years since my bachelor days. Those were the days I could just snap a finger and decide what to do for the whole day without any hesitation. But nowadays, I have to accept that I'm living with a lot of decisions in me and each of it connects with those around me. It's not easy but I've to accept it anyway even if sometimes it just hurt me for doing so.

In some ways, I still miss those days when I was still small. Nothing to think about, nothing to worry and yet I still realize of the bad side of it. Carrying a big responsibility sometimes will make you forget that there's much more things to consider. And today it made me realize a lot of things till i said to myself "If I could then I would". But I'll not be defeated by failing instead I'll go on ahead and be strong...as I'll always be...

Wherever You Will Go

So lately, been wondering
Who will be ther to take my place
When I'm gone you'll need love to light the shadows on your face
If a great wave shall fall and fall upon us all
Then between the sand and stone, could you make it on your own

Chorus:
If I could, then I would,
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low, I'll go wherever you will go

And maybe, I'll find out
A way to make it back someday
To watch you, to guide you through the darkest of your days
If a great wave shall fall and fall upon us all
Then I hope there's someone out there who can bring me back to you

Chorus

Run away with my heart
Run away with my hope
Run away with my love

I know now, just quite how
My life and love might still go on
In your heart, in your mind, I'll stay with you for all of time

Chorus

If I could turn back time, I'll go wherever you will go
If I could make your mine, I'll go wherever you will go
I'll go wherever you will go

How Do I Live

Have you ever ask this questions? Have I love her enough? Are we ready for the future? But most importantly to the person that you would live for the rest of life with her. How do I live with you?

Mama, each day we learn the ups and downs not to mention the positive & negatives of life. It's true, if the world is all about "sugar, spice and everything nice" everyone will not face the hardship of living.

Be strong and should you meet a dead end do remember I'll always be around to comfort, support and most of all love you, cherish you in every way. Don't forget Puteri and baby(on the way) will do the same too. So I leave you with this song hope you like it as much as I do.

How Do I Live Without You

How do I,
Get through one night without you?
If I had to live without you,
What kind of life would that be?
And I,
I need you in my arms
Need you to hold
You're my world, my heart, my soul

Bridge:
If you ever leave,
Baby you would take away everything
Good in my life
And tell me now

Chorus:
How do I live without you?
I want to know
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I
Oh how do I live?

Without you,
There'd be no sun in my sky
There would be no love in my life
There'd be no world left for me
And I
Baby, I don't know what I would do
I'd be lost if I lost you

Bridge:
If you ever leave
Baby you would take away everything
Real in my life
And tell me now

Chorus:
How do I live without you?
I want to know
How do i breathe without?
If you ever go
How do ever, ever survive?
How do I
Oh how do I live?

Please tell me baby
How do I go on

Bridge:
If you ever leave
Baby you would take away everything
I need you with me
Baby don't you know that you're everything
Goodl in my life
And tell me now

(Chorus)

My Latest Collection

After a lot of research and tons of reading I've finally decided to get this two item. One is for walk-around & portrait lens the Tamron 17-50mm F2.8 and the other is called flash diffuser. This lens is great for indoor and portrait. And with the F2.8 at its side lighting is not a problem. The diffuser on the other hand helps to bounce the light from the flash and balance the surrounding lighting.




And mama, will try to improve my skill on photography k..hehe..This one is for you...

Thank You For Loving Me

It's hard for me to say the things
I want to say sometimes
There's no one here but you and me
And that broken old street light
Lock the doors
We'll leave the world outside
All I've got to give to you
Are these five words when I
Thank you for loving me
For being my eyes
When I couldn't see
For parting my lips
When I couldn't breathe
Thank you for loving me
Thank you for loving me

I never knew I had a dream
Until that dream was you
When I look into your eyes
The sky's a different blue
Cross my heart
I wear no disguise
If I tried, you'd make believe
That you believed my lies

Thank you for loving me
For being my eyes
When I couldn't see
For parting my lips
When I couldn't breathe
Thank you for loving me

You pick me up when I fall down
You ring the bell before they count me out
If I was drowning you would part the sea
And risk your own life to rescue me

Lock the doors
We'll leave the world outside
All I've got to give to you
Are these five words when I

Thank you for loving me
For being my eyes
When I couldn't see
You parted my lips
When I couldn't breathe
Thank you for loving me

When I couldn't fly
Oh, you gave me wings
You parted my lips
When I couldn't breathe
Thank you for loving me

1 Song Day Till Valentines Day

Well, not that I'm a fan of worshiping Valentines Day or what but just trying something different this year. With the month of February kicks in not to mention a lot of schedule to be fitted in. I guess this will be something from me in a different perspective.

Well "mama" as promise...hehe...smile always, love you, pu3 & baby....mmmuah! I.T.A.L.Y.A!


When A Man Loves A Woman

When a man loves a woman
Can't keep his mind on nothin' else
He'd trade the world
For a good thing he's found
If she is bad, he can't see it
She can do no wrong
Turn his back on his best friend
If he puts her down

When a man loves a woman
Spend his very last dime
Trying to hold on to what he needs
He'd give up all his comforts
And sleep out in the rain
If she said that's the way
It ought to be

When a man loves a woman
I give you everything I've got (yeah)
Trying to hold on
To your precious love
Baby please don't treat me bad

When a man loves a woman
Deep down in his soul
She can bring him such misery
If she is playing him for a fool
He's the last one to know
Loving eyes can never see

Yes when a man loves a woman
I now exactly how he feels
'Cause baby, baby, baby
I am a man
When a man loves a woman

Sometimes love can be express in a lot of form. Be it words, expressions or songs. Well I seldom say this things not that i mean i don't have any feelings but i always express it in terms of songs.

This song by In-Team is among the first one i ever gave to my wife back then she was my girlfriend. It's hard for me to search for it over the internet but finally i succeed. So here goes i hope you like it...Valentines Day around the corner...yahoo!

p/s: Candle light dinner? Hehehe..

Impian Kasih

Kasih dengarlah hatiku berbicara
Kasih izinkan diriku bertanya
Bisakah cinta bersemi
Mengundang restu Ilahi
Adakah bahgia yang diimpi
Menjadi satu realiti.

Kasih ku sedari kekurangan diri
Kasih ku insafi kelemahan diri
Ku ingin sunting dirimu
Menjadi permaisuri hatiku
Sebagai isteri yang berbudi
Kebanggaan para suami

Wanita hiasan dunia
Seindah hiasan adalah wanita solehah
Yang akan membahagiakan
Syurga dalam rumahtangga

Hanya itu yang ku inginkan
Dari insan yang amat kusayang
Damaikanlah resah hatiku
Aku rindu kasih dan sayangmu
Terimalah seadanya
Akulah hiasan pelamin hidupmu

Andainya tiada jodoh
Untuk ke singgahsana
Ku pasrahkan segalanya
Kerna takdir yang akan menentukan
Impian kasih

As usual when my wife is having her off day from duty i'll be in Petagas at her parents house. The day started out well as we woke up around 10.00am. Got nothing to do anyway as the Chinese New Year still on. As we got up we started cleaning the house in preparation for my newborn son(eventhought its due on the 15th March 2009). Finish around 2.00pm and we decided to cooked lunch had some ikan goreng, lemiding and ambuyat(sau some called it) Then about 4.00pm as we're enjoying lunch i had a called from my dad.

Boom! I had a shock of my life. At first, he said my grandmother in Labuan is very sick and ask if i can check for available airplane seat(wife works at the airport). Not long after that he calls back and said she(grandmother) just passed away. Why does this thing happen? Why? Why? Why? Right now, i've just finish packing my bags and we'll be leaving for Labuan tommorrow morning at 5.00am to catch the ferry. Called my wife and told her it's best for her not to join as she's 8 month pregnant. Until then i just hope her(my grandmother) spirit will rest in peace..Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'uun....al-Fatihah...

Suddently had this song running in my head..

If Life Is So Short

Isn't it funny
How times seems to slip away
So fast
One minute you're happy
The other you're sad
But if you give me one more chance
To show my love for you is true
I'll stand by your side
Your whole life trough

If life is short
Why won't you let me love you
Before we run out of time
If love is so strong
Why won't you take the chance
Before our time has come
If life is so short
If life is so short

Love is a word that explains
How I feel for you
And when you're in my arms
All my dreams come true
And when you're not around
You can't hardly see
These tears that I'm crying
Now are for you to be with me

If life is short
Why won't you let me love you
Before we run out of time
If love is so strong
Why won't you take the chance
Before our time has come
If life is so short
If life is so short

Life..

This blog is going for changes from today onwards. I'll not going talk about my life in Elken but rather what i do daily, the people i meet, the things that happen and most importantly keep me going. I've tried so hard to fulfill everyones need but then I've sacrifice mine in the process.

These few months been the toughest days in my life as I'm juggling life of being a good dad to my 2 kids, a husband to my beautiful wife. And finally it just snap! I took up photography about a month ago to find an inspiration. In the process i might neglect some important factors in life.

And I've been ask this question, "What are your 3 goals in life that you want to achieve?". For some this is just a simple question but it has a deep meaning. A meaning where it will and can change a person life for ever. Well the those who are struggling to make a living hear my answer;

1. I want to find a source of income to fulfill my daily expenses
2. I want to free my wife from her current working life as i believe she deserve better and she should be with me doing what we love together
3. I want to give the best to my two kids so that they would not ask me one day "Dad, why are we not living well?"

All this while, I've always work alone. To me, i can achieve anything i want as i know how to schedule my work. But after a while i notice this is not achievable anymore. It's sometime hard to work in a pair but if that is what requires me to change; so be it, I'll do!

But it just break me up when ever i start something with a good intention it crumbles to the negative side. So i think i'd just hang up my photography days and stuck back in to the caves so everyone will be happy. Not to worry, as today i'll rise again to be a better person than i'm yesterday and looking forward to tomorrows challenge.

I got a few plans coming up like the;

1. Elken Fiesta - 08/02/09
   
2. Public Speaking Training - 28/02/09
3. Ruby System Member Meeting - 06/03 - 08/03/09

to name a few...


So i guess i'd just leave this song to sobber up yesterdays news and hope for the best. Called it what ever you want but to me it is important " To live a Life Than Not Living At All!"

Enjoy...

Nobody Knows

I pretended that I'm glad you went away
These four walls closin' more every day
And I'm dying inside
And nobody knows it but me

Like a clown I put on a show
The pain is real even if nobody knows
Now I'm cryin' inside
And nobody knows it but me

Why didn't I say
The things I needed to say
How could I let my angel get away
Now my world is just a-tumblin' down
I can see it so clearly
But you're nowhere around

1-The nights are lonely
The days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about
The love that we had
And I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me

I carry a smile when I'm broken in two
Now I'm nobody without someone like you
I'm tremblin' inside, and nobody knows it but me
I lie awake, its a quarter past three
I'm screamin' at night
As if I thought you'd hear me
Yeah my heart is callin' you
And nobody knows it but me

How blue can I get
You could ask my heart
But like a jigsaw puzzle its been torn all apart
A billion words couldn't say just how I feel
A million years from now you know I'll be lovin' you still
(repeat 1)

Tomorrow mornin' I'm hittin' the dusty road
Gonna find you wherever, ever you might go
I'm gonna unload my heart
And hope you come back to me
Said when the nights are lonely...

I'll Be Right Here Waiting For You

It's been 3 days since i last browse the internet. And this song came to my mind. I guess i better off sleeping as i haven't had much rest. But here i dedicate this song to my wife, Niza, my daughter Puteri Aleeya Saffiya and my unborn son(haven't find a final name for him yet-but e're working on it *wink*). Hope the 3 of you will have a wonderful dream tonight...mmmuah! ITALYA -this one for you Mama!

I'll Be Right Here Waiting For You
Oceans apart day after day
and I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain
If I see you next to never,
then how can we say forever?

Chorus:
Wherever you go,
Whatever you do,
I'll be right here waiting for you,
Whatever it takes,
or how my heart breaks,
I will be right here waiting for you

I took for granted all the times
That I thought would last some how
I hear the laughter and I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now
Oh can you see it baby
You've got me goin crazy

Chorus

I wonder how, how we can survive this romance
But in the end if i'm with you i'll take the chance

Chorus

Oh I love you,
Oh whatever it takes,
Whatever you do,
Wherever you go i'm never leavin you

I'll be right here waiting for you

Heavy Rain

Oh my god! The rain came down none stop around 6.45pm today. It went on and on but i still have to go out as I've dinner at Sushi King in 1Borneo. On the way there, it was water every where from Luyang, Damai, Likas and not to mention 1Borneo. People were driving slowly and the road was jammed at 1Borneo. But luckily i arrive safely...hehe..

TBW KK Jan 9-11 2009

Wow! It's my 2nd time in 3 weeks selected as one of the committee for a big event. Didn't cover much on the 1st one but i decide to share some of the moments. Today is the last day and i just came back from dinner with the MMC's and Elken staff. We had a good time. Will upload the pics later and share the story...hehe.

Happy New Year!

After been missing for quite some time i decide to make it a come back. Well as the new year comes in alot of thing hit my mind. But as they say a new year, a new resolution. So happy new year 2009!